A Man's Downfall Due to His Gambling Addiction

This is the story of my junior colleague, "Satoru."

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My name is Satoru Komori, and I'm a 24-year-old salaryman. I love gambling—online casinos, horse racing, mahjong, pachinko, pachislot, you name it. And I'm deep in debt because of it.

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Even I managed to get a girlfriend.

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Her name is Aki Yamane. She's one year older than me and works as an accounting clerk. She's very smart and reliable.

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Aki and I started dating a year ago, soon after I joined the company. I fell for her as she taught me various things, like how to settle business trip expenses.

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At first, she didn't give me the time of day, but I finally got a yes on my fourth confession.

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That's probably understandable. Being beautiful, she had a lot of male admirers in the company. So, the guys envied me for winning her over.

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According to her, she liked my sincerity and kindness.

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But...

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"Ugh, I lost again! I lost 30,000 JPY yesterday, and today, I lost 50,000 JPY!"

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I thought I'd win at the online casino and pay off my debts...

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I guess it's just toast for dinner tonight...

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But this month is bad... I just got my salary, and it's almost gone already...

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I'll have to borrow money from Aki for our date tomorrow...

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I know I shouldn't, but...

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The next day...

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"That movie was fun, wasn't it?"

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"Uh, yeah..."

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To be honest, I didn't care about the movie. I was worried about my living expenses.

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"Umm, Aki... I hate to ask, but could you lend me 30,000 JPY?"

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"Huh? But I lent you 30,000 JPY last month, and you still haven't paid me back."

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"Sorry. I'll definitely pay you back when I get my bonus next month."

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"This is the last time, okay?"

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After watching the movie and having dinner at an Italian restaurant—all paid for by Aki—I saw her to her apartment.

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Of course, I felt ashamed, but what could I do? I had no money.

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On my way home, I thought, "It's only 9:30 p.m. I'll play pachislot for a bit before heading back!"

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And just like that, the 30,000 JPY I borrowed from her was gone.

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"Oh no, what have I done? I'm such an idiot! I shouldn't have used the money she lent me!"

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I had no choice but to borrow from a consumer finance company again...

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With an annual income of 480,000 JPY, my borrowing limit was 500,000 JPY, and I was already using three companies. Today's borrowing put me at the limit.

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In the end, I could only get a loan of 20,000 JPY. But I'll get my bonus in two weeks. I just have to hold on until then...

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Bonus Payment Day

Today is the day I've been waiting for—bonus payment day!

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Aki asked me to pay back the money I owed her, but I needed the money to pay off my debts, and I didn't want to reduce the funds I had set aside for gambling, so I lied...

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"I really want to pay you back, but my mother has cancer and needs surgery, so I suddenly needed money..."

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"Your mom has cancer!? That's tough. Let me give her a call..."

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(Oops... I completely forgot that Aki and my mom are close...)

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"Uh, well, you see..."

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Since she would find out anyway, I decided to come clean. I confessed that I had used the money she lent me for pachislot and that I was already borrowing up to the limit from three consumer finance companies.

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"That sounds like a disease. You may not realize it, Satoru, but maybe you're stressed, and that's why you gamble."

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"Maybe you're right..."

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"This is a problem. How about we live together, and I'll manage our finances?"

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"Huh? Oh, that would be a big help..."

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And so, Aki moved into my apartment, and we started managing our finances together.

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It's a relief that Aki can keep track of all the money in my account. She even helps me manage my ID and passwords.

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I thought my debts would make marriage impossible, but now that we're living together, it's like a dream come true.

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"Why are you grinning? Hurry up and finish unpacking so we can be done with it!"

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"Okay, should I put this box over here?"

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The move went smoothly, and that night, Aki cooked us a delicious omelet rice!

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"This is so good!"

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"Hehe, I'm glad you like it! ♥"

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Ah, how happy I am...

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Our Happy Life Didn't Last Long

The day after Aki moved in with me, I got my first paycheck.

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When I got home from work, I found Aki looking exasperated.

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"Hey, I checked the account, and you transferred 50,000 JPY somewhere. What was that for?"

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"Uh, sorry. I used it for online gambling..."

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"And what about the 30,000 JPY you withdrew from the ATM?"

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"Uh, I used that for pachislot..."

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"Sigh. With a monthly income of 300,000 JPY and a take-home pay of 240,000 JPY, this spending is unsustainable... I'm worried about the future."

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"I'm sorry, Aki. I'll do better from now on..."

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"I believe in you. I'm sure we can improve if we work together."

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"Okay, I understand... Thank you."

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As soon as I got my salary, I spent 80,000 JPY, leaving me with 160,000 JPY. Of that, I had to pay back 30,000 JPY to the consumer finance company, so I was left with 130,000 JPY. Rent was 90,000 JPY, and utilities and communication fees totaled 20,000 JPY. That left us with only 20,000 JPY for food for the month...

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"Starting next month, I'll pay half the rent..."

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"Thank you..."

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If Aki pays half the rent starting next month, maybe we'll have a little more wiggle room...

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One Year into Our Live-in Relationship

Exactly one year into our live-in relationship, I came home from work to find Aki throwing up in the toilet.

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"Aki, are you okay!?"

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"Yeah, I just feel a bit nauseous..."

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I hurriedly rubbed her back.

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"Do you think it's a cold? Should I take you to the hospital?"

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"No, I'll be fine if I rest for a bit..."

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"Okay, I understand..."

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"Satoru... You spent money again, didn't you?"

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"Uh, sorry..."

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Since Aki kept track of my finances, it was immediately obvious when I gambled away money. Even after moving in together, I couldn't kick my bad habit.

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"I'm paying all the living expenses now, and I don't know what else to do..."

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"I'm sorry... I know it's wrong, but I can't help it... But don't worry, I won't do it again."

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"Satoru, give me your cash cards. From now on, I'll give you cash when you need money."

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"Okay..."

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Aki was right. Up until now, I would spend my entire salary and then borrow from consumer finance companies to spend more.

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"But if I can't borrow money anymore, how am I supposed to live?"

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"Satoru...?"

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"I can't do it... Please, Aki, don't take away my means of borrowing money!"

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"Satoru!? What you're saying doesn't make sense. I think you need to see a doctor. You're not in a healthy mental state."

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The next morning, Aki took me to a psychiatrist. Through counseling, I learned that I had a gambling addiction and that I felt anxious when I wasn't in debt.

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"So, I have a gambling addiction, doctor?"

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"Yes. You feel secure only when you're in debt. Usually, debt causes stress, but in your case, not being able to borrow money makes you anxious. If left untreated, some patients will go to extreme lengths to borrow money even when they can't. So, I'm glad you came in today."

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"What should I do?"

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Following the doctor's recommendation, I joined a self-help group where I could interact with people facing similar challenges. The idea was to gain perspective by listening to others' stories and sharing my own experiences to relieve my emotional burden.

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Aki gave me cash for the transportation fare to attend these sessions.

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There's No Turning Back

"Take care. See you later!"

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"Yeah, I'll be back soon!"

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"Satoru... Are you sure you'll be okay? Can you really turn your life around?"

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"Don't worry, I'll be fine."

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"Okay, let's get married once you're better."

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"Aki, you were considering marrying me? Thank you..."

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"Yeah, do your best..."

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"I will! See you!"

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But instead of going to the self-help group, I headed straight to the pachislot parlor...

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I was beyond help...

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I had called in sick for counseling and self-help group days, so I was in the clear. No one would know if I took a break to have some fun.

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"Ugh, it's all gone in an instant! I'll have to kill time in the park before heading home..."

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In the end, I never went to counseling or self-help group meetings. I just pretended to go while continuing to gamble.

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During this time, my anxiety about not being able to borrow money intensified, and I eventually turned to loan sharks.

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I knew I shouldn't, but when I borrowed 500,000 JPY, I felt so relieved.

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Maybe it was a rebound from restraining myself from gambling, but that 500,000 JPY was gone in a week.

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Embezzling the Year-end Party Money

Soon enough, the year-end party season arrived.

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We decided to draw lots to choose the party planner, and I was selected.

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"Satoru, find a place where we can eat and drink for 5,000 JPY per person. It's for the entire sales department, so that's 12 people."

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"Okay, can I get the money in advance?"

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"Yeah, sure. Here you go! This is 60,000 JPY for everyone."

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"Thanks..."

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(Great, with 60,000 JPY, I can try my luck...)

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And so, I headed to the pachislot parlor, hoping to increase the 60,000 JPY.

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But I suffered a crushing defeat, and the 60,000 JPY disappeared in an instant.

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(This is bad... If this is found out, I might lose my job... I have no choice but to be honest with Aki and ask her for money...)

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With heavy steps, I returned home and confessed everything to Aki, begging her to lend me 60,000 JPY.

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"Aki, I'm sorry. Please lend me 60,000 JPY!"

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"Are you serious? I can't believe you'd embezzle money for the company year-end party..."

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"I'm sorry... If I don't get the money, I'll lose my job..."

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"I can't take this anymore! I can't be with you anymore, Satoru!"

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"I promise I won't do it again..."

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"I've heard that before. Besides, the hospital called today. They said you haven't been going to your appointments. What's going on? I'm done! No matter what I do, nothing changes!"

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Aki found out about my lies, and she left in tears. On the table, she left the apartment keys, cash cards, and a memo with her ID and passwords...

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After that, I called Aki repeatedly, but she never answered.

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(Without Aki, there's no point... I guess I'll just keep borrowing and live my life in debt...)

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Conclusion

Satoru is still deep in debt. Unless he confronts his gambling addiction head-on, he won't be able to turn his life around.

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By the way, I heard through the grapevine that Aki was pregnant at the time and decided to return to her parents' home and raise the child as a single mother.

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It's not Satoru's fault—he has an illness. But I hope Aki can find happiness.

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